Vampire's Be Ballin'

So, I warn you now, I'm dumping my thoughts on this story and it may or not be depressing.


Usually during the daytime I'm too busy sleeping or occupying myself with other things to realise how lonely it is not being human. It's at night time, when I can't rely on my friends to battle the loneliness that things get bad. Y'know, it's kinda cool, being a vampire. Faster, stronger, better. All that Jazz. Except I'm the only one. I'm the only one I know who lives near me. I know two other blood feeders. One in England and one in America. Other than that I'm on my own.
I see people and wonder how long it would take me to just sink my teeth into their jugular. It would be so much easier if I just let go of myself, if I just lost what humanity I had left and let the destroyer take over. Imagine how easy it would be, just to lure people home from bars, sink in and drink until my heart's content. Believe me, the feelings there.
The problem is that that feeling just doesn't go away. I'll be talking to my mates, playing with my niece, getting slizzard uptown and all the time that burning desire is there. I can't help but feel guilty, alienated and sure as fuck embarrassed that I can't chill out with someone without having to freak the fuck out and leave the room when they get a damn paper cut.

I used to be really hurt when people told me that they were scared or couldn't trust me because I was a vampire, but I totally get it now. And that brings me to the point of thist little emo rant.

I'm lonely because i'm a vampire because I was an idiot because I was lonely. I dug my own grave (heee) and now I'm lying in it. People say to me that they don't get a happy ending because of they way they are, or who/what they are. Those people have never had to fight a losing battle that will go on for as long as they may live. If it's a lifestyle, you can leave it. If it's a power, you can cease it. My entire genetic makeup has changed, and with changed everything I ever knew about the world. A vampire's world is truly a lonely one, and every true blood feeder you will come across will know what that is like.

So, Kiddos. If you EVER, ever receive the opportunity to turn, don't. Please, for your sake, stay who you are and love yourself. Being human is pretty fucking cool.

Well, I am always up at night (est time) If you ever need to talk, I am actually just going to sleep now.

Man you should skype me.

Skype like video chat or just typing chat or mic conversation?

whatever. emily.williamson17